Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
the first time was when we walked into our local k-mart (target, i miss you!), and there in front of us was a rack full of "sanderson spartan" gear - sanderson being the high school kyra will be at this fall. she eagerly picked out a cute t (and paid for it herself), giddy at the thought of school spirit and high school and who knows what else. then, on to kroger. where a very friendly young cashier asked me if The Girls were my daughters. smiling, i said yes... only to be dismayed as he turned to kyra and his friendliness morphed into flirtatiousness, and he asked her if she was SEVENTEEN!! seventeen. 17. one - seven. she giggled... giggled & blushed... and preened. like some sort of cockatiel!
watching her as i paid for my groceries, i realized there was no going back. my little girl is a teenager. oh, crap...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
but the good news is he landed safe & sound! hooray! :)
Saturday, June 18, 2011
no no - you don't understand... I experienced SATURDAY today.
i can't recall the last time this happened to me. i mean, i still did a lot of stuff - got up before 9, did kid driving around back and forth to durham, ran to the store to get a swimsuit (wah!), fed everyone lunch and dinner, cleaned the kichen, did 3 loads of laundry (including folding and putting away!), took kyra and molly for a walk around shelly lake, ran to kroger to return our redbox & get the girls ice cream. but i also got a nap, sat at the pool for an hour, got rained on, and felt a peaceful, yet productive, rhythm in my day.
now it's 8, and the girls are settling in for a movie, and i am feeling... sabbath. shalom. peace in my heart. even inner tranquility. it's a feeling so foreign to me ... it has been a long, long time. so i am going to savor it... sit here and enjoy a glass of wine and let it wash over me.
Friday, June 17, 2011
nothing new to report, other than i think when holidae goes to cat heaven we're going to get a dog. :) if you've followed this blog at all, you know that i'm pretty sure God wants us to have a dog, and now even curtis might want us to, after the highly successful dogsitting we experienced this week. successful but for poor holidae, who didn't leave my room for 4 days, even to eat or drink. :( she's clearly not a dog person.
also, curtis is going to africa on monday! he's going with a group from our church to visit & serve the children's cup care point that ekklesia supports. i am jealous. AND he gets to go on a safari. i am SUPER jealous. stupid curtis. :)
my 7 minutes are up. (i must be a slow typist) excuse me, but i have to go brush my teeth...
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
the pool brings out in The Girls a side of them that i rarely get to see anymore. they are attached at the hip, laughing and somersaulting each other over & under the water, calling to one another, seeking the other out, skipping from pool to diving board & back again in tandem. they clamber into my car grinning and sopping, finishing each other's sentences and regaling me tales of ruthless lifeguards & girls with bikini's too small.
and i love it. the tween/teen thing has plenty of bickering and teasing that leads to tears, posturing and pestering and down right bothering each other - sometimes i swear they do it just to make me crazy. but tonight, at the pool, my teenagers became little brown eyed girls again. maybe even mermaids.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
today i hate being a working mom.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
curtis told me last weekend that he's been with me (including dating) for half of my life. oh.my.gosh. for some reason that has really thrown me for a loop. maybe it's just that it makes me feel old? i can't shake it, though. weird.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Saturday, May 07, 2011
i have been a mother now for 13.5 years (yikes!) ... and if i've learned anything in that time, i've learned that just when you think you've got your kids figured out, they change. and it's one of my favorite things about motherhood.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Monday, May 02, 2011
Sunday, May 01, 2011
and put it in my hair
with your too large fingers
tuck the stem
behind my ear and
lean into me
i will be the vine
and you can be the branch
the two shall be one
and we will be
pulled from the vine
tucked behind the ear of a pretty girl
by the boy who loves her
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
you got a smile so bright! you know you could've been a candle
Saturday, April 23, 2011
i feel like charles dickens.... "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." because it was, you know, a time when some of the best things and best people came into our lives. but it also had some of the worst things and hardest things we've ever endured. and next week it truly comes to a close when we walk away from the house and city that contained it all to continue our story in a new home and a not-so-new city.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I had an interesting conversation this morning, one that left me feeling rather maudlin. As we stood around talking about our impending move, a couple of my friends said things along the lines of, "I want to come say good-bye to your house", "I have so many good memories of your place" and "We've had so much fun there". As I reflected on that, it's true. This house has seen a lot of good times - parties, dinners, games, sporting events, deep conversations & raucus laughter, family chaos... all the stuff of genuine friendship and community. It really does have a lot of happy ghosts in it.
The thing that made all those things great and beautiful and memorable was the people who shared them with us. YOU made those things ... not the house. Rob's shock at winning the Golden Head for 'most encouraging', Simpson & Steve being inappropriate with window writing markers, Vinny teaching The Girls about the civil war, Mark & Tina watching their daughters make me fat, hours of eucher, catan and some games i hate with Josh & Mamie, new year's eves, Christine winning best dressed at my 80's birthday, Sabrina's glorious cakes at said birthday party, wine tastings with Shanna & Andrew, JJ & Angela's first date, dozens of smaller groups, everyone meeting Mark, tearful conversations, ekklesia's first steps... none of them mean anything without you guys... the people who we love.
So here is what I would ask from you as we leave Morningside Drive. Come and fill our new home with happy ghosts. Come and sit, and play and drink and laugh. Continue to fill our lives with yourselves... your beautiful, complex, funny, sad and true selves. Our lives are empty without you... a house is just sticks and stones, but a home is where our lives intersect in a million little ways. The new place is just a hop, skip and a jump away, and it needs you even more than it needs furniture. Consider this my standing invitation to you to make our house our home.
Oh, and if you could come help us move, that'd be great, too :) I love you guys. Deeply & truly.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
as i reflect on my own history of prayer, i so often throw myself before God with the heavy weight of my need in the forefront. i pour my heart out, trying to convince God, as it were, of the absolute necessity of my request - whether it's for myself or someone else. i list the reasons my prayer is worthy, the need true, and why God should be moved by the passion of my concern. and alongside that stands my belief that God hears me, that He is active & present in the world, that He is the powerful creator & sustainer of all things who loves us more than we know.
the weight of my prayer, though, the deepest conviction i carry into my times of prayer, is that of the need, not of the God who meets needs. i have come to see that when i pray, i am much more sure of my need than i am of my God, and while this may seem like splitting hairs, i am learning profoundly that it is not.
i have begun to attempt - when i bring the needs of my life, and of those i love, before God - to place the deepest passion and weight of my heart upon my God, our God, who is supremely powerful & knows everything i could ask before it crosses my lips. you would be surprised how much mental energy it takes to reorder my heart that way.
it's such a relief, though, when i am able to take the pain & hurt, the overwhelming circumstance of life, and see them become almost bouyant in the arms of God - He takes them so easily. and it doesn't just reorder my experience of prayer... rather, it is beginning to reorder my whole internal world. i am beginning to find a deeper and richer experience of God in the mundane & everyday-ness of life, as well.
theophan the recluse once said, "most people are like a shaving of wood which is curled round it's central emptiness." it's a melancholy thought when one considers everyday life, but a devastating one when considered in terms of our conversations with God. without the knowlege of a God we are sure of in the center of every thought & prayer cast upon him, what are our prayers but wood shavings, curled around nothing?
i cannot encourage you enough to consider this honestly. where do you put your conviction when you pray? it is in your request, or in your God?